Having No Blog Is Your Blog

I Totally Want This: Chromebook

2011-12-08T10:45:00.001-05:00

As with most gadgets, I need it like a hole in the head, but . . . I still kinda totally want it.

My dad was asking me the other week what kind of techy thing I had my eye on this year, and I didn't really have an answer for him at the time. I figured that between the iPod, iPad, massive laptop, and the Roku box I kind of had all of my entertainment and computing needs under control.

Then I inadvertently went to the Google home page today (had to check out the new doodle) and saw the pitch for holiday gift-giving.

My parents already gave me some Christmas money, so I could theoretically afford it, but . . . I don't really need it. (Then again, I don't really need half the junk I buy, so that kind of loses its effectiveness as a rationale for not hitting "Buy Now!")

However, I could buy a lot more of other junk instead of shooting my wad on one thing. For example, I already got some new sweaters on sale (which is very important because my unofficial Monday-Friday uniform is pretty much a cardigan, coordinating t-shirt, and dress slacks) and I might be in the market for some new shoes. (I have a coupon from the shoe store burning a hole in my pocket.)

Conversely, maybe if I had a Chromebook I would blog more. I've been totally spoiled by the size and speed of my iPad, which has made using my laptop a chore, even though it's much easier for me to type stuff on the laptop.

But since nobody but me really cares if I blog or not — with the possible exception of one person who misses the Pub Quiz recaps — I can't use that as a valid excuse either. Maybe I should price iPad keyboards instead. Anything to avoid doing actual work, right?

Christmas (Story) Is Coming

2011-12-01T15:42:00.001-05:00

Saw this in the TV Addict's December calendar and cracked up. I have it on DVD (hell, I have it memorized...) so it's not really necessary to tune in on Christmas, but I like it. And it annoys my dad, so ... double bonus!

In other news that makes me happy: I only have to come up with 11 more outfits to wear to work, and then it's pajama pants and sweatshirts until New Year's!

Is it lame that I'm so excited about staying at home for vacation? (Don't answer; I think I know.)

I don't have to stay home every day, though. Maybe I'll hit some area hot spots, like ... A Christmas Story House and Tuba Christmas. I'll probably also go visit my parents and my sister for a bit. Maybe my sister and I will take another holiday road trip. When she lived in upstate New York, we used to go down to the city for a few days. When she was in Georgia, we did some touristy stuff in Atlanta. Now that she's in southeast Ohio, I'm not sure what the destination would be . . .

OMG.

I was just on the Christmas Story House's online gift shop, and they have Christmas Story "comfy throws" (aka Snuggies).

Ha!! I think I know what my dad just bought me for Christmas!

Baby Boom

2011-11-15T14:30:00.001-05:00

So, it turns out that this guy I know is the proud dad of an 11-11-11 baby.

In other birthday news, I came across this fun Where Do You Fit into Seven Billion? activity on BBC News.

My results are as shown — click to embiggen.

If the average life expectancy is to be believed, maybe I should start saving more money for retirement.

Cruising teh Interwebz

2011-11-09T12:33:00.002-05:00

I'm supposed to be checking links for a project at work, but I keep falling into these rabbit holes where I start looking at funny or interesting things and then I look up and it's lunchtime and I'm barely half finished with my actual work. Guh.

In the meantime, some things I enjoyed today:

Quiet Ryan — Funny or Die

Occupy Wall Street photo gallery — The Granger Collection

Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog

Art Deco Superheroes — How to Be a Retronaut

I Totally Want This: Post-It Note Wrist Watch

2011-11-02T09:15:00.000-04:00

I spotted this on Office Supply Geek (What? It's a thing.) and was immediately consumed with lust.Not enough to order these from freaking France (?!), but still.

I could have used one of these yesterday, when I was making a mental list of items I needed to pick up on my way home (Zicam was recommended by a Facebook friend as a cold preventative; I needed some business-sized envelopes; I was out of contact lens solution; etc. and so on) but I was too good to, like, write any of this crap down. Or type it into my iPod touch. Or even write it on my hand.

So, I wandered the aisles randomly, picking up some assorted odds and ends that are useful, but not necessarily on my list. (Carmex now makes hand lotion? I must try it!)

Fast-forward to about an hour after I got home, when it hit me that I never got any envelopes. Doh!

I Come from a Long Line of Hoarders

2011-10-27T08:56:00.000-04:00

Spotted on the bookshelf at my parents' house: A 1966 edition of the Turabian manual.

I love that cover artwork!

Wednesday Timewaster: Cover Smart

2011-10-19T09:26:00.001-04:00

I could have called this "Miércoles Timewaster" or "Mercredi Timewaster," because one of the handful of things that I remember from my high school Spanish and French classes is the days of the week.*

COVERSMART

Anyhow: I found Cover Smart a week or two ago via the Woot blog because I was reading some other entry about Ken Jennings and a BOC.

I prefer to play the past quizzes because I get the instant gratification of knowing all the answers — as opposed to today's quiz, which I will have to wait until tomorrow to read the correct responses. Although I know some of the groups, I don't remember the album names. For example:

The others... pfft. No clue. Although I have some guesses for a few of them. And I could waste even more time by doing some Google Image searching to figure out the answers. But someone just dropped an incredibly complicated reprint on my desk, so I suppose I will devote my puzzle-solving energy to that instead.

* And the words for colors. And for pieces of clothing. Okay, maybe just the word zapato, which I mostly mumble to myself in the phrase "Donde esta mi otro zapato?!" when I'm rummaging through the pile by the front door at 8:05, searching for the mate to whatever I just put on one of my feet so I can get out the door and only be about a half hour "late" for work. (Laying everything out neatly the night before is for suckers.)

Calgon, Take Me Away!

2011-10-13T14:56:00.003-04:00

When I was in grade school* my babysitter** used to watch Guiding Light*** in the afternoons, and I remember with fondness the commercials for Calgon.****

I could really go for some right about now.***** Traffic was shitty on the way to work,****** I've had a headache all day, I didn't realize until after I pressed "send" on an e-mail to 30+ people that I forgot to include the mufflefratting******* attachment, and the copier won't stop impersonating Bob Marley******** long enough to print my 300-page document.

And it's only Thursday. I get to do this all over again tomorrow. Awesome. : \

*Somebody (it may have been my friend from Boston, but who knows) complained that the phrase "grade school" was stupid/inaccurate, because they're all grades. Is it an Ohio thing to say "grade school" when you mean "elementary school"?

**Or maybe it was her daughters, who were probably in high school when I was in second grade — things are fuzzy at the moment, for reasons that will become clear.

***And Young and the Restless, but I think that was almost over by the time I got home.Nice theme song, though. Which reminds me of the spoofy dream sequence in Mr. Mom. I love that movie.

****Which apparently still exists, despite my never having bought any in my life: www.takemeaway.com. I was always more of a Mr. Bubble girl.

*****Or a Yuengling, whichever.

******My mistake for trying to get to work on time. The commute is much easier when I don't even leave my house until after 8 ... which is kinda sorta technically when I'm supposed to be at my desk already, except that nobody cares anymore when anybody shows up. It's anarchy!

*******Insert all of the dad's fake swearing from A Christmas Story here.

********

Whatever

2011-10-06T09:44:00.001-04:00

For about thirty seconds when I started this post, I thought today was Friday. Now that I've realized it is only Thursday, I hate it even more.

Annoyed Grunt

2011-10-05T09:43:00.000-04:00

Damn you, auto-fill . . . and my oversize fingers!

I was sending an e-mail to myself about some songs I want to download* and/or put together on a playlist, and I started typing in my other e-mail address . . . and then the auto-fill options popped up.

Being my usual lazy self, I decided to tap what I thought was the address I wanted and then hit send. Instead, I tapped the address next to my address and hit send. Cue annoyed grunt . . .

I'm not even positive I know who that person is, or how I know her. I'm hoping it goes directly into her spam folder and she never sees it, because it makes totally no sense to anybody besides me. I don't compare anyone to Hitler, though, so I guess I have that going for me, which is nice.

* I finally got around to watching Outrageous Fortune last night —after it sat around my apartment in its soon-to-be-vintage** Netflix envelope for at least a month*** — and a Bob Seger song I've managed to never hear before popped up on the soundtrack. It sounds like a Chuck Berry song, actually, which reminds me of another song, so I wanted to get the Seger song and put all three of them in this other playlist I'm building, but I assume that I will promptly forget about this so I wanted to send myself an e-mail about it . . . which I will probably leave in my inbox and never look at again, but at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I documented my great idea and can access it again at some point in the future.

**My mom made that joke last weekend about a Borders bag she was using to schlep presents to my cousin's birthday party. She told her brother he should keep it, because it may be a collector's item. She's a laugh riot, that woman.

*** I'm keeping the streaming video and one-disc-at-a-time DVD-by-mail plan, although the rates at which I've been watching either lately may call this decision into question. This is partly because I've been gorging on Hulu+, what with all the new fall shows.

I'm dropping some of those, though. I can't get in to New Girl — it's just getting on my nerves. I'm also refusing to watch any more of 2 Broke Girls, even though it is sandwiched between shows that I'm still watching. I didn't think the pilot was all that hi-larious, and after seeing the promos for the second episode, I decided not to bother. I'd rather have more episodes of . . . well, I forget the name of it, exactly, except that I liked everybody in it: the American Pie guy, the second Becky from Roseanne, chubby sidekick on Reaper, and what'shername from a bunch of shows, including Arrested Development.**** I can't stand anybody in this Broke Girls nonsense. I thought I liked Kat Dennings because I liked Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, but that must have been the material and not her.

**** I'm trying to not let myself get too excited about Arrested Development coming back for a short season and a movie, but I'm totally watching it if and when it happens.

Who Knew?

2011-09-29T14:56:00.000-04:00

I was checking my Site Meter stats instead of doing real work, and discovered a ginormous spike in hits as a direct result of people using "Ryan Gosling naked" as their Internet search term.

This is the post in question: Three Months Ago in Netflix

It has kind of a fun little story about killing time in the office and watching stuff via Netflix and whatnot, but I will do you a favor and post the picture in question:

You're welcome, O ye surfers of teh Interwebs. (I guess, anyway. This was pre-Crazy, Stupid, Love /Those abs are Photoshopped! days, so it probably isn't sexxxy enough to suit their needs.)

Makes Me Wish I Wrote More Letters

2011-09-28T14:38:00.001-04:00

I recently discovered Letterheady and Letters of Note, sister sites that appeal to both my appreciation for retro/vintage coolness and my hoarder instincts.

For example, I totally want a ton of this Muppet Show Fan Club letterhead:

I also like the Campbell's Soup letterhead.

The archive of the letters ... Well, that's just one of those rabbit holes on teh Interwebs that I can fall down and not come out of until several hours later. Just fascinating stuff, really.

Fall TV: Meh

2011-09-14T13:50:00.002-04:00

I feel like I'm totally behind on my fall TV spreadsheets. Checking my previous posts on the topic — I Might Need a New Couch, In the Fall a Young Girl's Fancy Lightly Turns to Thoughts of Television, Anticipation — I see that (a) I used to be a lot more creative with some of my post titles and (b) I'm at least a week behind.

Ordinarily, I tend to get antsy sometime in August, waiting for the Entertainment Weekly fall TV preview issue to arrive. This year, though, I didn't get too worked up about it. In fact, I only read part of the preview issue last week and wasn't motivated enough to (a) finish reading it or (b) map out my viewing schedule.

I think it's because I'm not super-jazzed about any of the new shows, I'm already subscribed in Hulu Plus to all the stuff I liked last year, and I'm going to have to wait until ~~October~~ November for the premieres of some of my favorites. (I'm looking at you, Bones.)

Thus, I really only need to set the VCR for stuff that's on CBS or the CW, and if I don't get around to doing that for the first few episodes, I can still watch those online anyway.

So .... yeah. There's not a lot at stake here.

I Totally Want This: Kermit Sneakers

2011-09-09T15:26:00.001-04:00

Kermit the Frog - Adidas Sneakers

I had several pairs of green shoes while I was in college — Doc Martens, adidas sambas, Chucks... Now I have several pairs of green Chucks (I'm wearing a olive green corduroy pair right now!) and I think the Docs might be gathering dust in the back of the closet, so obviously I totally need these Kermit the Frog adidas.

And don't even get me started on how much I want these Marty McFly limited-edition Nikes ....

Only Exciting to History Nerds

2011-09-02T13:29:00.001-04:00

I got another big package in the mail today! Since I've been posting photos of everything else I've received lately, I thought I would continue the trend.

It's not that thrilling, though, since it's actually work related. I had to order some photocopies of letters that are in the collection of the California State Library so we could reprint some excerpts in one of the social studies units.

So, the packaging is pretty utilitarian.

The contents are only exciting to people who are interested in personal correspondence about what life was like in the California gold fields in 1851: i.e., history nerds.

I have nine more handwritten pages of this letter, plus eight handwritten pages for another letter. Thankfully, someone at some point typed them up.

In other news, it is Friday and I am looking forward to a long weekend of relaxing at a lovely little B & B that is better known as my parents' house. I'm bringing some of my stamping stuff, because I might make a stationery set for my sister, and I'm also planning to meet up with an old pal from college on Saturday. Should be fun!

The Unveiling Continues

2011-09-01T17:22:00.001-04:00

Yay! The iPad sleeve, which I thought wouldn't get here until tomorrow, just arrived.

First up: I'm not as charmed by the box, mainly because of Amazon's assertion — no matter how accurate — that it is a drug and I am addicted.

But I do like this classy, low-key packaging for the sleeve.

Hmm. It seems kind of small in real life, but I may be overestimating the actual size of my iPad since it's currently in a somewhat bulky padded and zippered case. I'll have to go right home and test it out. Further bulletins as events warrant!

Happy Bobcats to Me

2011-09-01T07:24:00.000-04:00

I have been spending some of the birthday money my parents gave me on fun stuff that strikes my fancy. I ordered a schmancy new iPad case, I got some silver earrings shaped like snowflakes, and I added to my already rather extensive wardrobe of OU t-shirts.

The earrings and the t-shirts arrived in yesterday's mail; the iPad case should be here by Friday. Having stuff shipped to the office jazzes up the day a little, and it allows me to do some grand unveiling.

I like their fancy packing tape. So much so that I took a photo of the other side of the carton.

Oooh, bonus swag! In this case, an HOMAGE pencil and a pack of Addams Family trading cards. (WTF?)

I am pretty much a sucker for anything with a paw on it. Down with the Attack Cat!

I'm fairly certain I saw this movie in a theater with my parents and sister. I also seem to recall going with them to see the sequel on Thanksgiving.

Anyhow: The shirt is super-soft, ultra-comfy, and quite stylish. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

Do the World a Favor, Indeed

2011-08-31T07:40:00.001-04:00

Kill Comic Sans: Do the World a Favor

Hahahahaha! Love it!

(What are you waiting for? Start shooting!)

Friday Timewaster: Wednesday and Thursday

2011-08-26T10:01:00.001-04:00

I was, uh . . . less than one hundred percent productive on Wednesday and Thursday, so this is my last chance to really buckle down and power through the major items on my to-do list.

Or I can go for the trifecta and while away the hours playing Wonder Putt.

Yeah, the smart money's on Wonder Putt.

Side Mirrors Are Not My Friends

2011-08-25T10:55:00.003-04:00

That, gentle readers, is the first ding in my new car. (I know it's barely visible in this crummy cell phone photo, but trust me: It's there.)

Last night I was backing up to re-angle myself in my garage so I'd have enough room to get out once I had actually parked the car, and I caught the passenger side mirror on the support post to the right of my parking space. The apparatus for the garage door made a nice gouge in the plastic casing.

Everything else seems to be okay — unlike the last time I caught my mirror on the side of the garage. That time I totally cracked the part of the plastic housing where it attaches to the side of the car. (I think I have a photo of that somewhere; maybe it's on my computer at home.) That's some other sucker's problem now, because I traded that puppy in two months ago.

Those dings are peanuts, however, in comparison to the damage I almost wreaked with the side mirror of my friend's truck at the Stop-n-Cop in Athens. ~~We needed~~ I needed some pop to mix with the booze (Absolut Kurant, I think) that everyone else was drinking in my friend's room. My friend with the truck had already been drinking, so I got to drive. (In retrospect, he probably wouldn't have done as much damage as I did sober.)

We went down Richland to the drive-thru, and I laughed at the people in the car in front of us who didn't know the traffic pattern of the drive-thru and were facing in when they should have been facing out. I distinctly recall chortling happily as I drove around to the back of the building while they waited for me to get out of the way so they could back up. They laughed last, though, because I cut the corner wrong and caught the side mirror on the side of the building as I started to pull in so I could place my order.

In my defense: The side mirrors on that truck stick waaaay the eff out to the sides; I wasn't used to driving that truck, so I had no real sense of its dimensions; somehow I thought the mirror was made out of Nerf and was just going to pop in and let me keep going. This truck was an old beater, though, and not one of the new ones that have the mirrors on hinges so they can be folded in when necessary.

So, I kept my foot on the gas, and the side of the building is kind of bowing in a C-shape, and the guys are running out of the office, waving their arms and yelling at me to stop. My pal is curled up in a ball on his side of the bench seat, laughing his ass off.

The people behind me had to back up so I could back up, and the guy who worked at the drive-thru coached me on which way to turn the wheel so I could reposition the car away from the wall. It maybe took two minutes to get it straightened out, but one always feels that time moves more slowly while one is dying of embarrassment so it felt like fifteen.

Once I finally got myself situated and apologized to the nice gentleman for almost wrecking his establishment (he gently reassured me that it was all okay and not to worry about it), I confessed that all I wanted was a twelve-pack of Sprite. I quickly paid for said beverage and headed back to campus.

On the short drive back, I made my friend swear that he wouldn't tell the rest of the guys back at the room what happened. He kept his word, even though he was still laughing on and off all night and they knew something was up.

This happened about sixteen years ago, so eventually the shame wore off. I have since told this story on myself many a time — usually acting it out with great verve and gusto for an appreciative audience of fellow OU alums. It's in the top ten of my OU stories . . . right up there with the double shot of Everclear story, "This Room Is Not a Bathroom," and one of the reasons I'm going to hell. Good times.

I Totally Want This: To the Googles!

2011-08-03T14:26:00.000-04:00

To the Googles! at HilariAwesome

It's one of my favorite parts from this poster . . .

So You Found Something Cool on the Internet

. . . which I found because a friend of mine posted a copy of this poster on Facebook . . .

So You're Mad about Something on the Internet

Meanwhile, back at the cube:

I need to go to the Googles to look up some sources that are quoted in this manuscript I'm assessing. Real work ... boo!

I Totally Want This: Boba Fett Carbonite Crunch Ice Cream

2011-08-02T09:25:00.001-04:00

Ben & Jerry’s Boba Fett Carbonite Crunch Ice Cream

Chocolate Han Solos frozen in carbonite? Hi-larious!

[ETA: I know it doesn't actually exist. But it should.]

Book Report: Volume 19

2011-07-29T11:27:00.000-04:00

I haven't been doing too much worth blogging about this summer, but here are a few comments on some stuff I've read lately.

A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

A little like Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth and World Without End — a fantasy time period/location that feels vaguely similar to the England of the Middle Ages; a cast of dozens, following several generations of the same families; many evil characters whom you hope get their come-uppance ...

What does the grandpa say about The Princess Bride? It has everything: "Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles."? That's pretty much true of A Game of Thrones.

Someone I know won't start reading sci-fi trilogies until the author has completely finished the series, but I decided to take the plunge anyway. I finished the first book over Easter weekend, and I've downloaded and read the second, third, and fourth books since then. I've downloaded the fifth book, but I'm trying to make it last because I know it's going to be a while before the next installment comes out.

View all my reviews

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

I was impressed. In junior high, I participated in a writing competition where you had to write short stories/essays based on randomly assigned scenarios/topics; this guy constructed an entire novel around a handful of strange photos.

View all my reviews

The Breaks

2011-07-21T11:38:00.000-04:00

History of Rap Part 2 with Justin Timberlake — Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Between this and discovering how much I heart BackSpin on Sirius Radio in my! new! car! </Rod Roddy>, I've been having quite the week in hip-hop.

Last night on my way home from Around the Corner, I heard Monie Love's "It's a Shame (My Sister)" ... something I had on cassingle back in the day. (Ok, full disclosure: There's a hundred percent chance that said item is in a shoebox in the hall closet at my apartment right now.) Apparently I still know all the words to it, too.

Anyhow, I was singing along at a stop light, and when I looked in the rearview mirror at the people in the car behind me, it seemed as though they were singing along to the exact same song. So weird!

Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

2011-07-18T09:09:00.000-04:00

Eat-a-Bug Cookbook: 33 Ways to Cook Grasshoppers, Ants, Water Bugs, Spiders, Centipedes, and Their Kin

A copy of this cookbook surfaced a few months ago when we were cleaning out some filing cabinets at work. I don't have a good explanation for why it was tucked away in a file drawer, but the working theory is that one of our printer reps sent it to us as a sample.

Anyhow: Some people in the office were totally grossed out, but I mostly laughed about it. I figured it would be a perfect gift for my sister, and I was right — I brought it down to her when I came to visit over Memorial Day weekend, and she got a big kick out of it.

I haven't been back to visit since, though, so I haven't had the chance to sample any gourmet treats she might have been inspired to create, like Curried Termite Stew, Sweet and Sour Silkworm, or Chocolate Cricket Torte.

Getting Crafty on the Fourth

2011-07-06T13:45:00.000-04:00

I took some of my rubber-stamping gear with me when I went to my parents' for the holiday weekend.

I had a handful of new items that I picked up when my sister and I were in Cincy over Memorial Day Weekend. Stamp Your Art Out was conveniently having a sale that weekend, and I picked this up from the half-price bin:

And I also bought some booklets with assorted botanical and summer images:

Anyhow, mash that all together with some glitter glue, card stock, and Copic markers, and you get these:

Extreeeeme Close-Up! </Wayne's World >

And these ... Which are slightly crooked in real life, because I suck at cutting and aligning right angles properly, but are extra crooked in these photos, because I didn't bother to line them up neatly before I snapped the photo.

I made some other ones in the vein of the last two, but I forgot to take any pictures of them before I gave them to my mom.

New Wheels

2011-06-28T13:03:00.000-04:00

So, yeah: I took the plunge and bought a new car over the weekend.

It looks essentially like this:

And I'm excited about little things like being able to control the stereo via buttons on the steering wheel. Oh, and being able to plug my MP3 player directly into the sound system. First, though, I'm going to get the most out of my free six months of satellite radio.

I'm not too jazzed about having the gearshift in the center console, but apparently they're all like that these days.

Now I'm trying to decide if I want some kind of clever vanity plates or just standard-issue ones.

Technically Working

2011-06-22T11:59:00.002-04:00

I'm sort of procrastinating by weeding through a bunch of old to-do lists and taking care of some really important tasks like, uh, re-labeling all of my file folders.

I garfed up the first page of labels by having it oriented the wrong way in the printer. Doh!

Next up? Scanning! I have some pages that were faxed in the 1990s on thermal paper, and the ink is slooowwwly fading away. I also have some records that I want to digitize so the hard copies can be stored somewhere else.

This is all technically stuff that needs to be done, but it doesn't really need to be done right now. Then again, when else am I going to have a relatively light workload? I'm mostly caught up on all the pressing business at the dry cleaner's, so I may as well enjoy this mental bubble gum while it lasts.

I Totally Want This: Rolo McFlurry

2011-06-03T10:16:00.000-04:00

When I was driving up 77 on Monday, I stopped around Cambridge for gas and a snack. I saw this on a sign and had to have one:

I totally heart Rolos, but haven't had any in quite some time. I also enjoy the McFlurry, even though it is obviously the poor man's Blizzard. So, Rolo McFlurry? Yes, please!

It was delicious. The end.

I Totally Want This: Hipsta Case

2011-05-23T23:45:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so, telling the universe on Friday that I have some extra coin in my pocket resulted in my iPod dying on Saturday afternoon.

The staff at the Apple store quickly agreed with my diagnosis of dead, never to be resurrected, and pointed out that I could trade it in on a new one.

I'd be saving the cost of the sales tax, essentially, but I'd be getting one with a fancy display and two cameras and a microphone and blah blah blah: Long story short, it wasn't hard to twist my arm into upgrading. Especially since I spent most of Sunday/Monday exploring my iPod Touch-less options: Lug my iPad everywhere (technically possible, but not always preferable) or get an iPhone (would cut down on the number of gadgets I haul around, but would cost — at a minimum — $30 a month more than what I'm paying now for phone service). (I hardly talk/text at all; I'm still all about the e-mail, because I'm old.)

Anyhow: After demonstrating poor impulse control at the beginning, I did manage to talk myself out of getting this adorably retro Hipsta Case . . .

. . . but not before taking it off the shelf and fondling it for several minutes. Twice.

Bank Error in My Favor

2011-05-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday I received a check from the IRS for a suspiciously large amount. Ok, not, like, several grand or anything, but still: It was for more than half of what I thought I owed them in April.

I held off on depositing it since it came with an ominous note stating that if I spent it and it turned out I really did owe the couple hundred, I would have to pay it back with interest. The note also claimed that additional documentation/clarification would be arriving by mail soon, so I sat tight until a letter arrived yesterday. It explained that the IRS decided that I qualified for a Making Work Pay tax credit, and thus had overpaid in April; hence the refund check.

Next step: Deciding what to spend it on. I mean, there's the obvious, like, oh, I don't know, paying off the credit card balance, but that's boring — that's stuff I already own.

Road Trip

2011-05-10T16:00:00.000-04:00

In a few days I will be loading up the Wagon Queen Family Truckster (aka my Ford Taurus) to haul myself and three friends to Athens for a long weekend. I cannot wait!

I'm ignoring the fact that I've got a slight cold, courtesy of my trip to DC last weekend that was awesome in almost every other way.

I'm also fighting my genetic tendency to freak out about having everything packed up and loaded into the car on the night before so I can "hit the road at 8 a.m. sharp" and "make good time" and all the other stuff my dad used to obsess over during family vacations when I was growing up.

It is kind of stressful to be the one in charge, though — and especially since I'm coordinating pick-ups at three different places/times for people who are not related to me and thus are not aware of my customary MO for road trips. It's different when my sister and I go somewhere together; we kind of fall into the same routines and know where the other is coming from.

Speaking of Jenn: She and I haven't decided yet whether we're going to take a trip during Memorial Day weekend. I was thinking of going back to DC — there are lots of museums I haven't seen yet! — but it might be just as nice to hang out in the country and eat a lot of peaches. (Gah! Now I'll have that song stuck in my head all afternoon instead of "Holiday Road.")

TPS Report

2011-05-04T13:18:00.000-04:00

My desktop wallpaper is this:

Which, if you want your own copy, you can find here:

Office Space Bliss by Burt

I also set my screensaver to scroll what looks like the following error message:

Sigh. Can you believe that movie came out in 1999? I remember dragging my sister to see it with me in the theater. She didn't think it was as funny as I did, but then again, she hadn't really worked in an office yet.

Speaking of offices: I'm going to be out of mine almost as much as I'm going to be in it this month, which should be awesome. PTO FTW!

It Does Exactly What It Says on the Tin

2011-04-28T09:11:00.001-04:00

I'm kind of a latecomer to Good Reads, and I'm not connected to that many friends on there at the moment. However, since the people I am connected to are librarians, I get e-mails practically every day to update me on what they've added to their "To Read" and "Reading Now" lists.

This is fine, except that the e-mails arrive at about the same time as when I should be buckling down and doing some actual work. Instead, I want to find out more about a book on Brian's list, or post a comment on Mary Lu's list about how great I thought that YA novel was when I read it, blah blah blah, et cetera and so on.

So, full marks for Good Reads for inspiring in me the exact outcome it wants; a massive FAIL on my part for not being able to delay gratification for a few hours. (Noooo: The message indicator pops up, and I must read it right now! And respond! Yahoo Mail is Pavlov and I am its bitch, apparently.)

Oh, and then whipped cream and a cherry on top of my massive FAIL by blogging about it instead of getting back to work. (Can you tell that I'm really not all that jazzed at the prospect of tackling any of the projects on my desk right now? I'm cross-checking an inventory report against our production database and a list of titles sold by a distributor, and when I finish all 39 pages of that, I get to mark up a book with some content updates so it can go back to layout for corrections. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. . . . I'd better get cracking, though, because I have a short week pretty much every week in May.)

Book Report, Volume 18

2011-04-25T14:29:00.002-04:00

I love Connie Willis's books, which usually involve some kind of time travel. These books by Jack Finney, Time and Again and its sequel, From Time to Time, are a fair substitute. Not as good as hers, of course, but they fill the void until she does something new.

My favorite line in Time and Again:

It was an ordinary day, a Friday, twenty minutes till lunchtime, five hours till quitting time and the weekend, ten months till vacation, thirty-seven years till retirement. Then the phone rang.

I'm hard pressed to explain exactly why that cracks me up — maybe how everything seems as though it's going to progress as usual until the guy dies contrasted with the phone call that changes everything?

Anyhow, these books are set in New York City. I've been there a few times, so I had a general sense of the geography. Although this knowledge is certainly not required for reading the books, I think it added to the reading experience.

I also enjoyed the vintage photos that illustrate some of the settings the time-traveling character described. While I was reading the second book, especially, I was pulling up a lot of sections of midtown Manhattan in Google Maps to see at how the streets appear today. (I confessed this nerdy tendency at Pub Quiz last month, and was reassured that at least one other person did a similar thing while reading a book set in London.)

Malley's Puts that Bleep! on Everything

2011-04-21T13:36:00.002-04:00

First Twinkies and Fritos, now Peeps . . .

Five of America’s favorite sugary marshmallow Peeps® are drenched in creamy milk chocolate. They are sure to be an Easter treat everyone will love.

Has Malley's chocolate become the Frank's Red Hot of the confectionery world?

Needless to say, I bought some. I haven't eaten any yet, but I'll probably have one this weekend. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Very Groovy

2011-04-19T08:53:00.001-04:00

I watched ~~a giant slab of Velveeta~~ Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe on Hulu last night. The whole thing was pretty much a nonstop shout-out to every Bruce Campbell catch phrase ever, with only slightly higher production value than The Man with the Screaming Brain, so . . . two thumbs up!

Stories for OUr Day

2011-04-14T13:22:00.000-04:00

Today's OUr Day, celebrating OU alumni.

What do OU alumni do when they celebrate? Tell stories about their crazy days in Athens.

I started my celebration a little early. I was at a meeting last night where I had the opportunity to share the always hi-larious image below and, with the person who did the actual "ironing," retell the whole incident to a small but appreciative crowd.

In the spirit of such good times, I'm linking to past posts with some of my favorite OU stories. Enjoy . . .

Don't Drink and Iron

One of the Reasons Amy's Going to Hell

This Room Is Not a Bathroom

Recipe for Disaster

Wednesday Timewaster: Celebrity Jeopardy

2011-04-13T22:18:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so . . .

I should be doing some laundry and getting some stuff together for an alumni event I'm hosting tomorrow and putting in some time on my freelance project, but I'm too busy listening to the Indians and Angels in extra innings and Joe Tait calling his last game for the Cavs plus watching all of the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches compiled on Funny or Die.

My favorite? Penis Mightier. Classic.

Crummy video quality, but I guess you can't have everything.

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy 3-20-99 - watch more funny videos

I Scream, You Scream

2011-04-12T20:51:00.001-04:00

. . . We all scream: Clusterfluff!

Or something like that. From the side of the container:

Ever have days where everything's stuck in a cluster of flub-ups, fubars, & snafus? It's a no-fun phenomenon we thought would be funner if it had its own flavor. Now, when whatever you're stuck in is making your head spin, just say "Clusterfluff it!" & spoon into a whole 'nother whirl of caramel-cluster-filled peanut butter & marshmallow lusciousness. Enjoy!

Anyway: I accidentally celebrated Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day by paying actual money for some ice cream at the grocery store. I couldn't help myself: I was so excited to see Clusterfluff, right there next to Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack.

Since I'd already had some Jimmy last month at the Scoop Shop on the east side, I contented myself with the Clusterfluff. I had read a bit about the flavor online and was eager to try it because I like all the ingredients: peanut butter ice cream with caramel cluster pieces, marshmallow swirls & peanut buttery swirls.

Can I just tell you: It is the ice cream equivalent of Do-Si-Dos, aka the peanut butter sandwich Girl Scout cookie. I heart those cookies, so I totally heart this ice cream. Nom, nom, nom.

Friday Timewaster: P. Nuttles

2011-04-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

After the other proofreader and I broke our Tuesday pledge of not going out to lunch for the rest of the week by going out for Chinese, we decided to delay our return to the office by stopping in the Walgreen's for some candy.

I picked out two Cadbury Creme Eggs (one original, one caramel) and then was distracted by an end-cap full of something I had never seen before, so of course I had to get a bag of each:

Around 3 I broke open the coconut bag — I've been on kind of a coconut kick lately, getting a bag of the coconut-filled Hershey's Kisses a few weeks ago and then some Almond Joy eggs the last time I went to the grocery store. The peanuts themselves are not bad, but the coconut jelly beans were an unpleasant surprise. I generally avoid jelly beans in the first place, and the faux coconut scent on these made me think that I was eating suntan lotion. It was a good thing there were only seven of them in the bag.

Speaking of bags: Neither of the ones I bought was resealable, so I am forced — forced, I say! — to consume them all at once. Nom, nom, nom.

Play Ball?

2011-04-05T16:41:00.001-04:00

Re-purposing a portion of a series of Facebook messages to an old pal from college. . . .

Backstory: He's going to the Reds game tonight, and had alluded to the fact that he was wearing Indians gear in his status update.

Me: Wait, what? Are you in Cleveland?

[Pause while I check the online schedule.]

Me again: Doh! Nevermind . . .

I forgot that Cleveland is playing the RED SOX tonight, not the REDS. So, when I skimmed the Reds/Indians part of the status update, I thought you were in NE Ohio.

Poor reading comprehension is apparently my punishment for leaving my iPod at home and trying to check FB on my work computer on the sly ... Sigh.

ANYHOW: Enjoy the game. The end. : )

He replied that he was in Cleveland earlier in the week but is in Cincy now. He admitted that he finds AL games more interesting to watch — Can I just pause this recap to say that it kind of boggles my mind that anybody finds baseball interesting to watch, much less can draw distinctions between the two leagues and their varying approaches? I'm only a fan because when I first started my day job, baseball was a relatively safe topic of conversation with one of my bosses. I only pay attention to the Indians; when they're out of it, I'm done.

At any rate, since I still had twenty minutes to kill at the office . . .

My reply: However, you might be better off in Cincy -- assuming that, because it's south of here, it's warmer.

It's only about 43 right now & it will probably get chillier before first pitch. There was a piece in Scene about record-breaking low attendance at Tribe games over the weekend.

Everybody seems to blame it on the team's poor performance, but nobody mentioned the fact that you have to be frackin' crazy to sit outside at night in April for baseball. (Hell, it snowed the day before Opening Day. Like, a LOT of snow . . . and heavy, wet snow, too, not some light dusting.)

I'm going to a game in June, with the assumption that the weather will actually be nice by then. Although by that point we will probably be mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.

Today in Earworms: Friday

2011-04-04T16:39:00.000-04:00

Gah. I watched Stephen Colbert perform "Friday" on Jimmy Fallon, uh, several times over the weekend, and now I can't get that damn song out of my head.

Friday, Friday . . . Partyin', yeah! . . . Partyin', yeah! Cue the Taylor Hicks harmonica solo!

Click the link to get infected.

Stephen Colbert Sings ‘Friday’ with The Roots!

Click it! You know you want to. It's quite the spectacle. Stephen in a tux . . . pyrotechnics . . . the Knicks City Dancers (Whaa?!) Just watch it already.

Friday Timewaster: Bored at Work

2011-04-01T16:34:00.000-04:00

It's Opening Day, and I'm listening to the Tribe get shellacked by the White Sox (as per usual).

Nikki helpfully forwarded this link to me with the note, Here's your Friday time waster.

I clicked it, and she's not wrong. Enjoy!

Bored at work. Photoshopping pictures of Justin Bieber's head onto things.

Wednesday Timewaster: Gum

2011-03-23T15:33:00.000-04:00

I was semi-working just now when the other proofreader came to the cube to hang out during our semi-official break time. I decided to take a break from semi-effective cough drops and break out some gum in hopes of perfection.

Unwrapping the new pack of Stride 2.0 reminded me that when I bought said gum at the grocery store last night I saw some packages of the same brand with labels spouting some nonsense about vitamins added to the gum. The other proofreader had never heard of such a thing before, but some quick Googling made it clear that the New York Times was all over this issue six weeks ago:

New Gums With Vitamins, Herbs and Varied Claims

Perusing the article led to the discovery of the Gum Alert blog, which I can't believe I never heard of before. I'm totally subscribing, if only to see what gets the dreaded one-gumball rating of "Foul. Repugnant. Gross."

Now that I've been chewing the gum for about five minutes, I'm this close to giving Stride 2.0 the "Foul. Repugnant. Gross." rating. The flavor is the same as before, but the consistency is off. It seems too slippery/slimy somehow, like it's going to disintegrate at any moment. It reminds me of the Straight Dope column about disintegrating gum except that I'm not eating anything greasy/buttery, nor am I making out with anybody while chewing the gum. It's a little off-putting, actually. I wonder if I can still get Stride 1.0.

I Totally Want This: Field Notes - Dry Transfer Edition

2011-03-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

I've bought a few sets of Field Notes — they're great for taking notes at Pub Quiz, although they don't do much for my motivation w/r/t transcribing said notes into recaps for the blog . . .

Ahem. Anyway, the point is, I'm on their mailing list. And this most recent marketing e-mail had me at

Relive the golden age of graphic arts and celebrate the power of Futura Bold in all-caps using our FN-11 Dry Transfer Kit and the free FN-11B Application Template.

Ha! I had to click through for all the details, of course.

I also loved the video, which I will embed for the enjoyment of any of you nerdy typophiles out there . . . (What? They exist! It's a thing! I'm not the only one!)

Field Notes: Dry Transfer Edition Instructions from Coudal Partners on Vimeo.

Wednesday Timewaster: Being Sick

2011-03-16T21:43:00.001-04:00

Urgh. Sniffle, hack. On Monday, I was hoping against hope that it wasn't what I thought it was, but I was right after all. Stoopid cold.

I ditched work around lunchtime, went home, and had another crazy dream. Before the alarm went off this morning I was dreaming that someone at work was fired and the rest of us were thrilled. This afternoon I dreamed that I was a chaperone on a bus full of elementary school kids.

Both of these scenarios are somewhat rooted in reality (I have a job; I did chaperone a bus trip a few weeks ago) but then my fevered brain took a random left turn into fantasy land.

Speaking of fantasy land: I found (via kottke.org, of course) a fun online game that puts my vast movie knowledge to use. Presenting Famous Objects from Classic Movies, which is pretty much just what it sounds like.

You get a basic drawing of an item, plus some Hangman-style blanks underneath. If you don't recognize what it is right away, you can use some classic final-round-of-Wheel-of-Fortune strategery to fill in a few slots until you can guess what it is. It's hard to mistake this for anything else, though . . . It's a major award!

I'm only batting about .600 so far, but I'm hoping to raise my average in the next few hours.

It's Funnier If You're Tired

2011-03-14T09:31:00.000-04:00

In related news:

I heard the best DST suggestion ever this morning on my way to work, when the AM DJ at V 107.3 suggested that if we have to skip an hour ahead, why not do it on Friday afternoon so everyone can go home early?

I could have used the extra hour this weekend, since I spent more time than I intended at St. Pat's in the Flats on Saturday and then went to my parents' house on Sunday to pick up some crafting supplies that I'll need on Tuesday night. My mom always tries to talk me into skipping work and staying overnight, and I kind of wish I'd taken her up on it. Sleeping in and lounging around the house sounds like perfection right now . . . Then again, when does it not?!

Friday Timewaster: Winter Wonderland

2011-03-11T11:49:00.003-05:00

The snow looks gorgeous, but it was a pain to drive in last night/this morning. Last night I was already bummed that OU lost in OT to Ball freakin' State, and this morning I was cheesed off about having to go to the office at all.

It's supposed to (a) stop snowing sometime this afternoon and (b) warm up a bit tomorrow. I'm thinking of stopping by St. Pat's in the Flats tomorrow afternoon and maybe heading to Akron on Sunday. (Although it's supposed to snow again on Sunday, so who knows.)

Hoping Lightning Strikes Twice

2011-03-10T10:10:00.000-05:00

It's MAC Tournament time again, which means that I'll be heading to the Q tonight to cheer on my Ohio University Bobcats.

OU's the fifth seed this year, but I'm hoping some of last year's mojo still lingers and they can run the table at the tournament. And I'm not just saying that because the Athletics Department is sponsoring parties before every game -- Free food! Cheap drinks!

At any rate, St. Pats in the Flats (Ok, technically the Warehouse District...) is on Saturday. So, you know, OU fans will be having a good time that day whether we win or not.

I Totally Want This: Coleto Lumio

2011-03-09T07:55:00.001-05:00

The Coleto Lumio is a pen.

Actually, it's just the shell of a pen — you get to choose four ink refils to put in it.

Pilot Hi-Tec-C Coleto Lumio 4 Color Gel Ink Multi Pen - Pen Body - Metallic Pink

I am an avowed fan of the Hi-Tec-C pens from Japan because of their amazingly fine line and quick-drying ink, which are great qualities to have when marking up page proofs and taking notes during pub quiz.

I was looking online for refills, since my green one is running low, and found that I can get this shell and some refills and make my own four-color pen. Squee! I placed my order yesterday.

I Totally Want This: Peepshi

2011-03-08T07:51:00.000-05:00

I am not a sushi fan. I am, however, a Peeps fan.

A Peeps fan who is too lazy to actually make the smorgasbord of sugary delights pictured above, but who appreciates the concept nonetheless.

If you're more motivated than I am, check out Serious Eats for complete instructions and ideas for incorporating Peeps into other common dishes. That's right: "Peeps . . . It's what's for dinner." Or "Peeps. . . Not just for Easter anymore."

I Totally Want This: Ernie Hat

2011-03-07T11:37:00.000-05:00

My sister described this Ernie hat to me on the phone the other day, so I had to Google it immediately.

I find it amusing that the people at Newbury Comics have the URL punk.com. I wonder whatever happened to the travel mug I bought there during Spring Break 1995.* Actually, I know that answer to that question: It's probably on my kitchen counter with the rest of the dirty dishes. Sigh.

*That's right: Everybody else went somewhere warm; I went to Boston! (P.S.: Thanks, Megan!)

Friday Timewaster: Which Generation Are You?

2011-03-04T22:21:00.001-05:00

Spotted via a link on Brave Astronaut's Facebook page . . .

When I first clicked the link on Facebook, I didn't realize that it was taking me to a results page, and not the starting page of a new quiz. So, I got kind of Big-Brother-Is-Watching-You freaked out when it claimed I was born around 1971. Which is vaguely in the right neighborhood, since when I actually took the quiz it ended up with 1972 . . still a few years off. Pretty snazzy chart, though.

Anyhow: Here you go, knock yourself out.

USA TODAY - Which generation do you belong to?

I Totally Want This: Late Night Snack

2011-03-03T14:02:00.001-05:00

Yfrog Photo : yfrog.com/hs70goxj - Shared by jimmyfallon

Hmm. Chocolate-covered potato chips in vanilla ice cream with a salty caramel swirl? I enjoy most of the things in that list, but not all mashed together like some kind of Best of Bootie mix. (Speaking of, I downloaded the 2010 edition over the weekend and added it to my iPod. It adds a little zazz to the workday.) But I am a fan of Ben & Jerry's flavors created for late-night hosts, so I'm sure I'll be sampling it at some point in the near future.

In other news, Emilio Estevez washed his hair. <--- That was my favorite of the many Charlie Sheen-related team names at pub quiz the other night. I have had several requests to get off my lazy a-dollar sign-dollar sign </Principal Figgins> and resume my recaps, so I will get on that forthwith. Right after I finish doing freaking math to update the suggested responses in this stoopid econ lesson on the CPI.

In the meantime, may this fulfill any tiger blood needs you have:

(I haven't actually watched it yet, but it was highly recommended to me over lunch. I saw Jimmy's tweet about how much he looks like CS, but I will wait to watch the episode in its entirety on Hulu later tonight. So, you know, something to look forward to . . . )

Fashion Victims

2011-03-02T15:43:00.003-05:00

The other week I gave the Fashion Citation notepad to the other proofreader at work as a gag gift. Which is to say that one of our cow-irker's "fashion" "choices" make us gag.

Sadly, it was turned on me this morning, when I was issued the inaugural ticket for "Stains and/or wrinkles." At the time it was just wrinkles, but as the afternoon wore on the "stains" prophecy came true: I inadvertently swiped my green ink pen against the button placket of my new white cardigan. Boo!

While I enjoy wearing OU colors, I do not enjoy random blobs on clothes I wear in public. In fact, the "no blobs" policy gave rise to the "no white cardigans" rule of 2003, which was faithfully observed until last summer. I managed to act like a grown-up and not junk that one up too badly, so I thought I was ready for another one. Sadly, I was wrong.

Thanks to a Tide-to-Go pen, however, most of the green ink has been eradicated from my person. So . . . . Happy ending?

U Can't Not Hum This

2011-02-28T11:50:00.001-05:00

My new desktop wallpaper, while hi-larious, has gifted me with an earworm.

In fact, I want to listen to my entire playlist of late '80s/early '90s hip-hop/rap/R&B/new jack swing, but I think I took it off my iPod yesterday when I synced it. Guh.

I could go to the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon site to watch Bell Biv Devoe perform the only two songs most people know, but it wouldn't be the same.

ETA:

I could also watch this, but it still wouldn't be the same.

Friday Timewaster: Being on Time

2011-02-11T08:37:00.000-05:00

Thanks to WTAM promising an interview with Joe Tait at 7:45 this morning, I was motivated to get my butt in gear and on the road so I could listen to it on my way to work.

I was the first one here (by about 90 seconds) and had the joy of almost creaming another car in the parking lot thanks to the giant sheets of ice conveniently adjacent to any accidentally clear space in the parking lot. (Long story short: Whoever "plows" our lot is an idiot.)

In other news, I was feeling a touch of the winter blahs yesterday, so I bought some bright Flair pens and Post-it flags in hopes of cheering myself up enough to face the impossibly dull task of reviewing one of our economics units and flagging sections that need to be updated because it was written ten years ago.

Mission not accomplished, because here I am typing away at my list of grievances instead of applying hot pink flags to pages with statistics from the olden days (i.e., 2000) and/or sentences like the following: "For the past ten years, our economy has experienced unprecedented growth without interruption." Doh!

Too bad I didn't bring my iPad with me -- I bought World of Goo yesterday when it was on sale for 99 cents, and this screenshot shows one of the levels I am stuck on.

An Impulse Buy

2011-02-03T10:17:00.000-05:00

On Sunday I was working with one of my freelance clients, and I noticed how nice it was to have a wireless printer. It made the prospect of hauling my laptop over to my el-cheapo inkjet and connecting with a USB cable seem so . . . old school, but not in a cool way.

Since I already have a wi-fi router in my apartment, I indulged in a fantasy of how nice it would be to just hit "print" from wherever I happen to be. A little Googling, and voila!

Canon PIXMA MG5220 Wireless Inkjet Photo All-In-One (4502B017)

It happened to be on sale at Amazon for about $90, and it has scanner/copier capabilities that I don't have with my existing printer. (Although I do have a giant flatbed scanner, that's another thing that needs a wired connection . . . ) I have a hunch that the sale price means it will be discontinued soon, but the reviews seemed to be pretty uniformly glowing and the ink cartridges probably aren't that much more expensive than what I'm already buying, so I took the plunge.

It's supposed to be delivered today; we'll see if I get motivated over the weekend to hook it up. Since that will probably require some cleaning/reorganizing of my living room/office area, I'm not getting my hopes up. But we'll see.

Hoarder!

2011-02-02T07:28:00.001-05:00

I heart the Chicago Manual of Style's Q & A. Especially when it deals with weighty matters like the following:

Q. My library shelves are full. I need to make some difficult decisions to make space for new arrivals. Is there any reason to keep my CMOS 14th and 15th editions?

A. What a question. If you had more children, would you give away your firstborn? Find a board and build another shelf.

Snowpocalypse 2011

2011-02-01T08:57:00.001-05:00

Despite the dire weather/travel predictions, I made it to work in about the same amount of time as it usually takes me to get to work. The hardest part was getting out of my driveway! (Well, actually, the hardest part was getting out of bed, but ...)

The streets in Fairview Park were amazingly clear; Rocky River/Westlake slightly less so. Anyhow: The challenge will probably be getting home later. But since I am listening to the dulcet tones of Johnny Depp reading Keith Richards' autobiography, I don't really care how long I'm stuck in the car.

I am sorely tempted to hit Melt (O.G. West siiide) tonight for the Dude Abides, but a third of my chicken paprikash sandwich from last night's excursion to Melt 2: East Side Boogaloo is in my fridge at home. However, Cathy does raise a good point when she says that everybody else will stay home because of the crummy weather . . .

Friday Timewaster: What Country Song Best Describes Your Life?

2011-01-28T01:16:00.001-05:00

Presented without comment . . . well, except that I thought it was funny.

What Country Song Best Describes Your Life? | themadpriest

Guilty Pleasure

2011-01-19T09:40:00.000-05:00

I set my VCRs yesterday to tape American Idol tonight and tomorrow. Squee! Of course, I also had to set it to tape the finale of Life Unexpected. I'm kind of glad to see that show go, though. It started out okay, but then some of the plot lines/characters got a bit annoying.

I'm actually using my VCRs less now that I have Hulu Plus via Roku — I can subscribe to a bunch of shows and watch them either on TV or online. Some shows, however, it's still easier to tape.

In other news, I think I bit off more than I can chew in terms of library books. I put in requests for about 30 books from my could-be-fun-to-read list — you know, fluff:

some YA novels, like the two sequels to Adam Canfield of the Slash
some mysteries, like Michael Connelly's Reversal
some light nonfiction, like We, Robot: Skywalker's Hand, Blade Runners, Iron Man, Slutbots, and How Fiction Became Fact

and about 20 of them came in at once. Doh!

Plus, last week I went to a different CCPL branch than I usually do (Somehow it feels like cheating or being otherwise unfaithful to my usual branch, but then again sometimes I like it when the checkout clerks don't know me.) and they had a bunch of DVDs and graphic novels on display, so I ended up with a handful of those, plus two more volumes in a YA series I had been reading and then lost track of: Shadow Dragons and The Dragon's Apprentice. (I talked about the first book in the series in Book Report: Volume 5.)

One of the DVDs I picked up was the second season of Frasier. Hi-larious! I especially enjoyed the translation scene in "An Affair to Forget" that was ~~stolen from~~ an homage to the "Paris At Last" episode of I Love Lucy. Now, of course, I have to request the complete first season and then watch all the rest of the complete seasons because I'm apparently a bit of a compulsive completist with too much time on her hands. But I think you already knew that.

The Doctor Is In

2011-01-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

Ugh. I couldn't get my real work done today because I got stuck in four-hour ~~meetings~~ therapy sessions with some of my cow-irkers. (Basically, I told them that everybody else is crazy and they need to nut up and deal. It's a philosophy that has stood me well.)

In other pop culture references, I'm starting to feel like the office is turning into Hotel California: I can show up anytime I like, but I may never leave! There's just this (seemingly incessant) list of things that need to be dealt with; ideally by Wednesday. Good thing we don't get Monday off or anything — Civil rights, schmivil rights, we need this project finished!

Thanks, Dad.

2011-01-12T11:33:00.002-05:00

Way to rub it in.

More Yahoo! Mail Theatre ...

----- Original Message ----
From: Amy
To: Dad
Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 11:18:00 AM
Subject: Wake me up when it's time to go to sleep *

Hey there --

How's the winter wonderland in Akron? I was thinking of coming down tonight -- OU plays Akron at the JAR -- but I think I'm going to skip it. The roads are probably crummy, plus I'm getting a cold -- since I managed not to get sick while I was on vacation, for once!

So, I'm probably going to stay in, catch up on my laundry.... It would be nice if I had something presentable to wear to work; the last few days I've just been rummaging around in the piles, pulling out something that doesn't look too wrinkled/smell too bad, and yanking it on. I've still been at least a half hour late, but I can blame that on the weather and not my deep-seated aversion to exchanging the cozy warmness of bed for the headache-inducing mountain of work that awaits me at the office. We're trying to check that all the pieces/parts of the new lessons work before they go live, so there's a ton to do. I suppose I could rack up some more overtime if I wanted, which is nice. It's the being-there-at-8-am part that totally sucks.

Anyhow: Besides that, I have some freelance/volunteer stuff to catch up on. I have been putting off part of a freelance project, but it's absolutely due next Monday, so I'd better get cracking. At the same time, I said I'd send out another OUWC newsletter by the 15th, but I haven't started that yet, either. Well, I've got everyone's submissions, but I haven't started pasting it all together into the newsletter layout. The sucky part is that somehow I lost my working Word files for the last edition -- I only have the final PDF. I think I had the stuff saved on a USB drive that subsequently died. I don't know of any way to rescue the files from the drive, so I guess that, instead of updating the fall newsletter file with the winter information, I'll have to start from scratch again. Barf!

So, yeah ... That's pretty much all the news from up here. Say hi to Mom for me!

Amy

* Thanks, Subject Line Generator!

----- Next Message ----
From: Dad
To: Amy
Sent: Wed, January 12, 2011 11:22:11 AM
Subject: Re: Wake me up when it's time to go to sleep *

In a message dated 1/12/2011 11:18:02 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, Amy writes:

I think I'm going to skip it. The roads are probably crummy

There is 5 inches on the ground with more coming.
Stay home and stay warm.
Love Dad and mom
PS your mom just went back to bed at 11 am LOL

My Life Up to the Last Five Minutes

2011-01-11T20:56:00.030-05:00

Random thoughts . . . More so than usual, anyway:

I caught up on my latest batch of library books over the weekend — including Juliet and The Grimm Legacy, which put new twists on familiar stories (Romeo and Juliet and Grimm's Fairy Tales, respectively), and Trail of Blood and King of the Holly Hop, which are set in Cleveland. All four were pretty good.

I'm coming down with the cold I thought I was going to get while I was on vacation, so that's awesome . . . not!

I rilly, rilly, rilly need to do some laundry; specifically, work clothes. Ugh.

I watched Denis Leary on The Daily Show and laughed about how young he looked with his hair short. Then they showed the vintage footage from Jon Stewart's MTV show, and I really cracked up.

I renewed my love affair with the white hot chocolate at Dunkin' Donuts this afternoon. I don't like white chocolate as a rule, but this stuff? Nom, nom, nom.

From First to Worst

2011-01-06T10:31:00.003-05:00

Can we just pretend that the last half of pub quiz never happened?

It started off so well: Cathy and I teamed up with Mike D's parents and assorted librarians to totally rock the opening rounds. I displayed my sadly encyclopedic knowledge of TV shows by getting a majority of the first-round questions and correctly identifying most of the kids' shows depicted in the picture round. On top of that, we managed to get a perfect score on the color round and not disgrace ourselves too badly in whatever the other category was.

So, I knew we were in good shape, but imagine our shock and delight — to say nothing of the disbelief and dismay expressed by everyone else in the place — when we discovered that we were in first place by two points at halftime. Sigh. It was glorious.

Our joy was short-lived, however, because we totally bit it on useless knowledge, "sports," the video round, and the missing link. Garfing up the missing link was a particularly bitter pill to swallow; if we had gotten more than four of the questions right, I probably would have figured out that they were all titles of Beatles songs. But noooo, someone has to ask about stoopid Josh Hartnett movies about vampires in Alaska and Adam Carolla roles in crummy "adult" cartoon shows from the mid-two-thousandsies. Ugh.

However, since the actual last-place teams had vacated the premises by the time the final scores were announced — to be fair, it was getting late and there were three tie-breaker rounds to determine the top-ranking teams — we were in the running for the traditional last-place prize of instant lottery tickets.

We had to have another tie-breaker round, though, to determine the last-place "winner," and I was the only person left from my team. However, the other team was the Jellybrains, and the question was about who wrote "Nothing Compares 2 U," so I took home the tickets, a case of candy canes, and a The Expendables tattoo (shown below). Awesome! Every month I say we should answer everything wrong and take home the last-place prize, but this was the first time I actually did it. So, you know, 2011 is off to a great start!

SSDY

2011-01-03T13:31:00.001-05:00

After being away for so long, it felt kinda strange to be back in my apartment last night.

I'm still on my "vacation schedule," which involved two weeks of staying up super-late watching random crap on TV and then sleeping in until it was time to watch The Price Is Right. Which is why I heard the radio part of my clock radio go off at 6 a.m. but then managed to ignore the alarm part of my clock radio for a good hour and a half before jerking awake at 8 a.m. with the strong suspicion that I was supposed to be somewhere. Good thing I didn't make any resolutions along the lines of "Be on time for work."

I wasn't any later than I usually am, though, since I had somewhat prepared for this eventuality the night before by laying out some outfit options (I ended up with option B, although option A is welcome to audition again tomorrow morning.) and putting anything I need to bring with me (lunch, Christmas presents to mail to my sister, bag of library books to return) on top of my jacket in my desk chair near the door to my apartment. I should have put everything on top of my winter coat and boots, though — it was quite the shock to walk out into 12-degree weather. (At least it wasn't snowing?)

Once I did get to work, hardly anybody else was there anyhow. I had a horrible dream while I was on vacation that someone had messed with my computer, but that prophecy didn't come true. Although ... I did discover a problem with one of my databases and had to root around in my archives for the correct information. I needed to put the right information in before I could run a report to use as the basis for another year-end report, which I suppose I should get cracking on. Usually I'm pretty good about working on it a little bit all year, but apparently I decided to leave it all until the last minute this time around. Sigh.

Friday Timewaster: Being at Work

2010-12-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

I kind of zoned out/went on auto-pilot this morning while I was driving to work — so much so that I followed the car in front of me into the left-turn lane, even though I needed to go another block before I turned left. I snapped out of it just in time to get back in the lane I needed, but it made me happy that vacation starts at 4:30 this afternoon. (Well, okay, 5 p.m., since I was running my customary thirty minutes late.)

Anyhow, I don't have what one would call exciting plans, but I have plans for my time off. Saturday I'll be at a game watch party for my Ohio University Bobcats when they appear in the New Orleans Bowl. (Memo to OU football team: You can hit Bourbon Street after the game. You already looked like you were sleepwalking through the Kent State game, and you certainly don't need to be hungover for this one!)

Sunday afternoon is reserved for making cookies with my cousins' kids. I've been instructed to bring my camera — apparently my mom's old 35mm has bit the dust.

On days that have yet to be determined, I'm going to visit my sister for a bit, plus get together with some old friends while we are in roughly the same geographical area.

I may or may not be working on some freelance projects — right now I'm too fried from my day job to say yes to a possible assignment that was offered to me yesterday, but I think I should say yes because I'll need something to do in the twenty-three hours a day that I'm not watching The Price Is Right.

So, yeah: Add some reading, crafting, and Web surfing, and that's my pretty much agenda for the foreseeable future. Woo hoo!

Geek Bowl 2011

2010-12-16T10:53:00.000-05:00

Just the idea of this cracks me up. I'm tempted to vacation in Denver this January . . .

On Saturday, January 29th, Geeks Who Drink is proud to present:

Geek Bowl 2011
The Largest Pub Quiz in the US (seriously!)

It's our 5th annual cash-prize quiz that has sold out 4 years in a row. Due to demand, we've increased capacity and have relocated to The Fillmore Auditorium!

Quiz starts promptly at 7:00 PM; doors at 6:00 PM.

Compete against Geeks Who Drink quiz teams from Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, and dare we say it, Arizona.

Cash prizes will be awarded to at least the top three teams!

Office Space

2010-12-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

Since we've had some staffing changes, we were talking about reconfiguring cubicles/offices to better suit current/future conditions. I spent a good hour yesterday coming up with some variations on what will be my new office.

That's right: I'll have walls and a door. Woo hoo!

Okay, I'll also be sharing it, but I prefer to focus on the upgrade from Les Nessman and masking tape to actual walls and a door.

Anyhow, here are some of the six or seven options I've come up with so far:

Hump This

2010-12-01T09:45:00.000-05:00

Ugh, Wednesday. I'm redirecting the hatred I usually have for Mondays to Wednesdays, with Tuesdays a close second.

Wednesday is now the date of an 8 a.m. weekly meeting which I am not invited to attend but which I get to overhear snippets of unless I turn my iPod up to "Operation Just Cause Serenades Noriega" levels. (Kids, ask your parents.) Guh.

Also, and as a direct result of the aforementioned 8 a.m. meeting, Wednesday is now breakfast buffet day in the office kitchen. However, I forgot about that this morning and got my own breakfast. Dang. One of the few perks, and I ruined it!

I decided to get some coffee, but my groggy butterfingersness resulted in dropping my snazzy OU pawprint mug. Pro: It was empty. Con: The handle broke off. Result: I'm super-pissed.

Thankfully, I have a handy backup mug, shown here on a festive snowflake napkin.

Did I mention that it was snowing this morning and I had to wear my winter coat — which I have neglected to take to the dry cleaners at any point in the last six months, so it smells kind of ... odd? No? Well, all of that just ratcheted up my petty-annoyance level to, like, Def Con 2.

Minor bright spot: When I was looking up some details for my twenty-year-old Noreiga joke earlier, I came across a 1996 entry in the National Security Archives' "Document of the Month Club" that contains the playlist of requested songs: starting here and continuing here and here, in case you're inspired to make a mix tape. I totally am.

The Document of the Month club site seems to have only a few entries from the mid-1990s, but the National Security Archives' current site has all kinds of nifty stuff — it's kind of like WikiLeaks, but, you know, vintage. We're quoting from some of the documents about Nixon's trip to China in the revised U.S. history units, but there are electronic briefing books on a variety of topics, at least one of which has a title that makes me laugh: "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Korea?" Other winners, based on titles alone: Nuclear Noh Drama and "Why Is 'Poodle Blanket' Classified?" Snerk. "Poodle Blanket." Ha! That wacky Kennedy administration!

Speaking of the history units: I need to get cracking on the final check of the last volume if I'm to have any hope of getting it printed before the end of the year.

Keith Richards Says Kids Should Not Do Drugs

2010-11-29T12:05:00.000-05:00

I kind of want to get the audio version of Keith Richards' autobiography, because I want to hear Johnny Depp read it. But it's 16 discs long; will I really be in the car that long over a three-week period?

Besides, I probably won't be able to drown out the Denis Leary routine running in my head:

Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can't do any more drugs because you already fucking did them all, alright? There's none left! We have to wait 'til you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the fuckin' kettle.

Tuesday Timewaster: Damn You Auto Correct!

2010-11-09T07:00:00.003-05:00

Spotted this in my Facebook news feed — Thanks, Jess! It is teh awesome.

Damn You Auto Correct! -
Funny iPhone Fails and Autocorrect Horror Stories

Ever laugh so much you get beyond laughing and start making these horrible gurgling/choking noises? No? Oh. Uh. Yeah, me neither. Ahem.

In other news, today is my Friday, since I'm taking the rest of the week off to go to beautiful downtown Harrisburg for a conference that doesn't really have anything to do with my day job. On top of that, I'm going to see Anthony Bourdain Wednesday night, tour the Hershey archives on Thursday, take in a hockey game on Friday, and do a brewery tour/tasting on Saturday. Woo hoo!

Architectural Wonders

2010-11-04T15:46:00.000-04:00

I just read the Kottke.org post spotlighting some Building the Empire State Building segments in a documentary on New York, but I haven't watched the video.

When I do, I'll have to decide if it's more impressive than building the Empire State Building out of Legos:

I stopped by the National Building Museum while I was in DC for the rally and happened to catch the Lego Architecture exhibit.

What I didn't have time to see was the entire display of items from World's Fairs of the 1930s, so I guess I'll have to go back sometime between now and July 2011.

It Could Always Be Worse

2010-11-03T12:32:00.000-04:00

To distract myself from current politics, I have just subscribed to the RSS feed for a little project the New York Times put together:

DISUNION
One-hundred-and-fifty years ago, Americans went to war with themselves. Disunion revisits and reconsiders America's most perilous period — using contemporary accounts, diaries, images and historical assessments to follow the Civil War as it unfolded.

I've skimmed the first few posts (this just started on 10/30, I think) and so far it seems to be totally awesome in its geekery. So, yay!

On a related note of historical geekitude:

While I was in DC for the rally last Saturday, I had dinner at Wok and Roll, and one of my dining companions pointed out the following historical marker on the side of the building:

The food was delicious and didn't taste of treason at all! It did make me want to listen to Assassination Vacation again, though.

Counting Down

2010-10-28T11:28:00.000-04:00

I'm going to this rally thing on Saturday — maybe you've heard of it? My dad just e-mailed me to tell me to have a great time: "We will be watching from our warm, cozy, big screen TV room. (For Free)" Uhm, thanks?

I kind of left a lot of logistics until the last minute, though — like confirming with my friends who live in the area when we're going to meet up once I get there, figuring out how we're going to get around while I'm there, researching what else I might want to do in Baltimore and DC while I'm in the area, etc. (Every time I say "Baltimore and DC," I keep hearing The Mamas & The Papas version of "Dancing in the Street" in my head. It's been driving me crazy.)

So, instead of doing any actual work this morning, I've been looking up all those kinds of things, plus checking in for my flight. I picked the option of having my boarding pass sent to my cell phone, which I've never done before but sounds very space age-y and cool.

What was very retro and cool was going to see Back to the Future on the big screen Monday night, which was twenty-five years to the day Marty went back in time. I swear I saw a DeLorean cruise through the theater's parking lot before the show.

My friend Missy and I had a hard time stopping ourselves from reciting all the lines with the characters, but I think half the crowd was doing the same thing. A few people dressed up like Marty — plaid shirts and puffy vests — but one guy also had a skateboard, which: Way to commit, dude!

Everybody got a free commemorative poster. I'm thinking of hanging mine up in my cubicle . . . but I'll have to rearrange my OU poster and Demotivators to make room.

I have the trilogy on DVD, and I thought about watching Part II when I got home on Monday night. Instead, I ended up just watching all the bonus features for Part I, which was still pretty fun. There were some stills of Eric Stoltz in Michael J. Fox's role, but not the actual footage. I can't see myself upgrading to the trilogy on Blu-Ray just to see it . . . I'm sure someone will post it on YouTube eventually anyway.

Before Part I started, I was trying to tell Missy about the 11 Points articles about what Back to the Future Part II got right and wrong about the future. They're pretty funny; check them out:

Meanwhile: I'd better make like a tree and get out of here.

Oh No, There Goes Tokyo

2010-10-21T09:12:00.000-04:00

Apparently I'm going to Brewzilla on Saturday.

The official closing event of Cleveland Beer Week! BREWZILLA features crafts and imports from more than 80 breweries, a special "Ohio Brewery" showcase sponsored by V107.3 and with plenty of local brews to try, the last chance to taste all six collaborative brews made by Ohio breweries for Cleveland Beer Week 2010, and food pairings courtesy of Heinen's and Winking Lizard.

Should be interesting. I always mean to go to the Ohio Brew Week in Athens and never do.

Monday Timewaster: Sane or Not?

2010-10-18T14:46:00.003-04:00

I'm admitting defeat: I will not accomplish anything much at the office today, so I'm putting my limited attention span to work at Sane or Not?

In this case, I have to deduct points for not sizing the image correctly so that all the letters would be visible (Or wait, is that a commentary on how even this slogan about the inability of cramming one's complex views onto a sign can't fit onto a sign? Meta!) and add points for Photoshopping Beohner's head on the Coppertone girl's body. (Click and embiggen; it's worth it!)

Same concept — I'm too complex for this cardboard — in the sign on the right, but a much better execution.

Also worth clicking/embiggening? The fine print in the call-and-response rally chant in the sign on the right.

If you don't feel like rating the signs, at least check out the Sane and Take It Down a Notch sections for the best/worst signs.

I Totally Want This: I'm with Stupid Reasonable T-Shirt

2010-10-14T07:28:00.003-04:00

The Rally to Restore Sanity isn't about calling names — it's about making connections. To that end, we've created this new twist on a classic: The Comedy Central Shop exclusive I'm with ~~Stupid~~ Reasonable T-shirt. It's a shirt that says, "I'm willing to bet that the person standing next to me is willing to carry on a completely sane, rational discussion of an issue, without resorting to shouting, bullying or grandstanding." (And if that turns out not to be the case? Just turn around, and the arrow will be pointing at someone else!)

Hmm. I'm going to the rally, but I was planning to wear my classic "The Fake News Is All I Need" shirt from Glarkware.

Ha! I love The Gouda News as well — especially after the Grilled Cheesus on Glee.

Other Glarkware classics include the Stapler and Good Grammar Costs Nothing.

I have the Stapler, although I insist on putting it in the dryer, so the logo is starting to crack. I always think about getting Good Grammar Costs Nothing, but then it seems like the law of the Internet would smite me. (Not that one; the one about how any post pointing out a previous poster's grammatical/spelling error will contain at least one error in grammar and/or spelling.)

One I haven't seen before but which I kind of covet is the Hummingnerd. It just makes me laugh.

Pros and Cons

2010-10-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

Two things that are great about this morning:

I figured out how to hide the favicons in Google Chrome. Not having a giant blue F or orange and white B or purple Y! blaring from the browser window allows me to persist in my delusion that I am fooling people when I switch to a new tab when someone wanders by my cube while I'm goofing off online.
Replaying bits of Denis Leary routines in my head is cracking me up. For whatever reason, the part about Shut the Fuck Up! with Dr. Denis Leary is set on repeat. It's one of the more pleasant earworms I've had in a while.

Two things that totally suck about this morning:

I'm in the office.
So is everybody else.

Monday, Monday

2010-10-11T20:13:00.000-04:00

I should be getting my act together since I'm going to Athens for Homecoming this weekend (and there was much rejoicing. . . ) but after two straight days of banging my head against the wall that is the first proof of the last history unit, I think I've earned some chocolate ice cream & pleasure reading.

I'm in the middle of Enchantment by Orson Scott Card. I happened to come across it while randomly browsing the shelves at the Bay Village branch a few weeks ago, and I'm enjoying it immensely.

For Reals, Yo

2010-10-06T08:08:00.001-04:00

I usually make a spreadsheet this time of year to track my viewing plans, but I could never come close to the attention to detail shown by this guy: The New Fall Season - The Ultimate TV Spreadsheet (UPDATED).

My spreadsheet is only broken down by prime time (shown below; click to embiggen) and late night (Stewart/Colbert, Leno/Fallon, Ferguson, SNL).

I'm kind of cheesed that Human Target was moved to Wednesdays; I was using Wednesdays to catch up on Monday and Tuesday's shows. And since I've had to triage Thursdays at 8 and watch Community and Bones online, I cannot wait for Hulu Plus to come to Roku.

I Can Totally Relate

2010-10-05T09:36:00.001-04:00

I had to look over some marketing copy yesterday, which make me feel like the big sister in this cartoon.

(Click to embiggen.)

The Teddyssey

2010-10-04T15:00:00.001-04:00

You know how kids today think they're all cool with their zombie/Austen mashups and Lincoln-hunted-vampires conceits? Check out The Teddyssey, a 1907 retelling of Teddy Roosevelt's life as though it were The Odyssey, which I discovered on Google Books when I was supposed to be researching something else for work. It is hi-larious.

A book of caricatures of T.R., organized loosely around Homer’s Odyssey, Cushing’s parody consists of eleven “books”: Infancy, Youth, San Juan, Glorification, Inauguration, Temptation, Arbitration, Prevarication, Incantation, Iteration, Apotheosis. Cushing’s Roosevelt, however, though drawn with his glasses on from infancy, is not a figure of fun. He is the hero of this story, living up to his image as a reformer by refusing to kowtow to American capitalists and by exposing governmental corruption. Cushing, a staff artist at Life, made frequent use of the Greek pantheon to satirize contemporary politics and society, of which The Teddyssey is only one example.

— From Theodore Roosevelt In His Own Right, 1904–2004,
Naomi Pasachoff, Chapin Library, Williams College

I very much enjoy this image, with Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Pierpont Morgan as the Sirens:

Book VI: Temptation

"The Sirens try to lure Teddysses to the 'Rocks,' but having bound himself to the Ship of State, Columbia steers him through."

My Arm Was Twisted

2010-09-21T11:42:00.000-04:00

So, yeah: A friend of mine talked me into going to the Rally to Restore Sanity. Should be interesting ...

It's Kind of a Rattle and Hum But Not in a U2 Kind of Way

2010-09-14T09:03:00.002-04:00

So, you know how the car starts making a weird noise and you ignore it for a bit and then it gets really loud and long and frequent and you can still hear it over the new mix CD* you made so you freak out and take it to the shop but when the mechanic drives it around the block to hear this mystery sound that you can't accurately reproduce with human vocal cords the car suddenly gets a case of the shys and clams up like a two-year-old who just realized that he doesn't know half the people in the room and where's his mommy, anyway?

So, you're sitting there like an idiot, insisting that there is so a noise and maybe he needs to drive at 40 miles an hour with the left turn signal on while the rear passenger side window is down a quarter-inch or some other ridiculous combination that may or may not replicate the exact conditions under which the buzz usually occurs and he's being generally quiet and outwardly patient but you're pretty sure he's judging you as some kind of hysterical girl who cries wolf when it comes to mechanical issues and calculating how fast he can extricate himself from the situation when it finally makes the frakkin' noise for a millisecond, and you're like There! Did you hear that?! in a triumphant tone.

So, he allows as how he did hear something that could be an exhaust rattle, which makes you even more elated because they were just working on the exhaust a couple of weeks ago — right before this horrible noise started, so it has been your hypothesis all along that they didn't completely tighten a bolt somewhere, causing noticeable vibrations at certain speeds — but of course you can't gloat too much and anyway he's still taking about doing a visual inspection and blah blah blah drops you off at the office cakes** and you come in but don't really feel like doing any work and then you can't do any work anyhow because (a) you have this exciting story to tell about your momentary triumph of woman over machine and (b) your coworker has to let off some steam by ranting about, uh, work stuff.

So, you know, that happened this morning. And I only have to get up, get dressed, and come to work for two more mornings this week, which is awesome. I originally requested Friday off when I thought I was going to Columbus for OU vs. OSU on Saturday. I'm not, but I'm still ditching work. And there was much rejoicing . . .

* That's right: Still makin' mix CDs in 2010. Keep hope alive.

** "Blah blah blah fishcakes" being, of course, one of the great TWOP-isms of all time.

A Poet and Didn't Know It

2010-09-07T08:37:00.000-04:00

So, yeah: I had some of this Sunday night, which led to a drunken text (and not the good kind).

I was scanning the lineup of bottles over the bar at the Matinee and was intrigued by the raven on the bottle. I asked Ted if it was Edgar Allen Poe Juice, and he said I'd have to try it and find out. After we mocked the "soft mouth-feel" on the label and actually tried it . . . It's not bad. I couldn't drink it all the time, but I've had worse.

I Totally Want This: Flappers 2 Rappers

2010-09-03T14:52:00.000-04:00

Click to embiggen.

Check out more sample pages on Dover Publications.com.

I strongly disagree with the hyphenation of asshat and assload (as shown here) and I was not aware that "ass antlers" was a synonym for "tramp stamp." So, I suppose I need to get a copy and brush up, in case I ever need to make like Barbara Billingsley.

It's Later Than I Think

2010-09-03T00:46:00.002-04:00

These West coast road trips mess with my head. I'm lounging around, listening to the Indians game while I do some stuff online. (It started out productive with bill paying and mail holding, but quickly devolved into comics reading and Facebooking.) I'm used to games that start at seven and finish before ten, so I'm not really freaking out about the lengthy list of tasks I need to complete before I go to work ~~tomorrow~~ in seven hours (chief among them being laundry so I have something to wear this weekend) until it sinks in that the Tribe is *in* Seattle and it's almost one a.m. Crud.

Hmm. Are clean clothes overrated? Or, can I just dump a bunch of dirty stuff in my duffel bag and throw it in the wash once I get to my parents' place? I'm liking that idea a lot. Not enough to actually go do it right this second, but it's the bottom of the ninth, so I'd better get cracking.

Unexplained Absences

2010-08-26T23:23:00.000-04:00

Oof. I haven't posted anything in almost a month?! Yeesh. What the heck have I been doing with myself all August? Working, I guess.

I was pretty busy with the day job, plus one of my freelance clients is, uh, "transitioning to a new business model" and there was a lot of work to do with that. My other freelance client is also transitioning to a new business model in that she's going to be retiring in about ten months, so I keep telling myself that this time next year I won't have to be doing [fill in the blank with whatever task is eating into my slacking off time].

Ah, yes, slacking off time: You know what's awesome for that? The iPad. I'm using mine to compose this blog post. Mostly I use it for ebooks, email, Facebook, music, Web surfing. . . All stuff I could do on the iPod touch, but with a bigger screen. Then again, my laptop has a much bigger screen, but it takes a few minutes to boot up and it's too big to hold in one hand. So, iPad FTW, I guess.

I was showing it to my parents the other weekend, and they were pretty much like, That's nice, dear. My dad said something about it seemed like a way to waste a lot of time. I'm like, Have you *met* the Internet? Wasting time is its middle name! And you have 800 cable channels, so Pot, meet Kettle. My mom couldn't get the finger-swipe gestures down at first — I think perhaps she was using the nail instead of the pad of her finger, and then somehow she was tapping it too hard/too long? Whatever. I'm not sure exactly how she was doing it wrong, but she was doing it wrong. Then she got the hang of it, pretty much, and was on Facebook looking through some photos/videos of the kids of someone she had in her first grade class about twenty-nine years ago. She couldn't stop laughing about the deja vu weirdness of it, since apparently his kids look and the act the same way he did when he was their age. After that, I freaked out my dad and my grandma by showing them how Google Earth can home in on your exact location. Fun!

At any rate, to maximize the time wasting capabilities, I signed up for a Hulu plus account. However, I'm having second thoughts because I'm not sure there's enough content available for iPads to make it worth $10/month. Most of the stuff I want to see is only available through the Web site, which is free. That might change once the fall season starts, though, so maybe I'll give it another month or two before I cancel it.

Speaking of fall TV, it's almost time for me to make this year's giant spreadsheet of the shows I'm going to be watching/taping/viewing online. I already know that Thursdays at 8 are going to be a train wreck: Community vs. Bones vs. Big Bang Theory. I'll probably tape Bones and Big Bang, and watch Community online. So, that's one hour of prime time scheduled; now for the other twenty!

Mugwump. M-U-G-W-U-M-P. Mugwump.

2010-08-04T17:46:00.003-04:00

Brave Astronaut is just going to tell me yet again that this proves I should be an archivist, but here goes. . . .

One of our new U.S. history units has a lesson on the Korean War that includes excerpts from about a dozen White House memos, reports, meeting minutes, etc.

I'm tracking down copies of these documents on the Web site of Truman's presidential library, and I got completely sidetracked because I found this portion of the minutes of a meeting with congressional leaders on December 1, 1950, to be completely hi-larious. (Click to embiggen.)

I think it's partly because of the way mugwump is spaced out, with some comment pencilled in and then erased above it, as if the typist was unsure of the term, and partly because of the . . . well, it's hard to explain, but I suppose that it's essentially my schadenfreude about someone talking shit about someone else and then immediately being reprimanded for it by his boss (who, you know, happens to be the president!) and then being described for posterity as "somewhat embarrassed at this point" about said shit-talking. Heh.

Tuesday Timewaster: Dear Blank

2010-08-03T12:26:00.000-04:00

My latest way to keep productivity at bay . . .

Dear Blank, Please Blank

Thanks to Nikki for sharing this.

Notch That, Mothernotcher.

2010-07-27T11:58:00.000-04:00

News alert:

In the course of Facebook-messaging one of my friends this morning, I managed to invent some new and awesome slang. (Read: I was thumb-typing so badly that my cursing was cupertinoed into a completely different term, which I am now using as an all-purpose expletive.)

This magic word is notch, and it can be used in multiple ways to express a variety of ideas. Check out this example, courtesy of my friend Brian:

I was so notched last night I got notched side ways, but it turned out it was a tranny from the Jerry Springer show and that really notched my mind.

Enjoy!

Book Report: Volume 17

2010-07-22T11:49:00.000-04:00

China Lake

Last week I tried listening to China Lake, but I couldn't stand the premise and had to give it up after the first disc. The plot involves some kind of wackjob cult, and the descriptions of all the nutty things they believe were depressing me. I mean, it was bad enough that I was listening to it on the way to and from work; I didn't need anything else to bum me out.

I'll Mature When I'm Dead

So, going in the opposite direction, I selected Dave Barry's I'll Mature When I'm Dead, which is hi-larious and awesome. My dad and I are fans of him anyway; my mom thinks he's dumb. I'm going to assume that my sister agrees with my mom, because that's usually how these pop culture things go in our family.

After I finish the Barry book, I have Al Roker's Morning Show Murders, which I believe is read by Roker. (The Barry book is read by Barry — which is another point in its favor.) Then I've got the audio version of one of my childhood favorites, The Great Brain. I wish that the other books in the Great Brain series were on CD, but if they are, the Cuyahoga county system doesn't have them. Bummer.

Peaking Early

2010-07-20T10:37:00.000-04:00

I was just telling the person in the next cube that I think I've already shot my wad today in terms of energy I can devote to concentrating on actual work.

I was done for the day around 9:54 this morning, after roughly forty-five minutes of productivity. That's probably above average for me lately — I seem to spend more time planning/organizing what everyone else is doing and addressing "workflow issues" [Barf!] and setting up schedules/deadlines than I do actually proofing anything. Which is okay, I guess, since it's pretty much Grand Central Station around here and thus impossible to concentrate.

In other news: I'm still wait-listed for my iPad. On the plus side, I definitely made enough in OT the last few weeks to cover the gizmo plus any extra cords, carrying cases, protective screen covers, or other accessories I decide I must have from the Apple store. So, you know, I got that going for me, which is nice.

Friday Timewaster: Actual Work

2010-07-16T10:05:00.000-04:00

I've been forced to delegate all the fun stuff I actually like doing (verifying the sources quoted in the history books; final checking the Shakespeare units) and am down to the lame stuff I'd rather put off (creating an outline for the poor programmer who's been forced to build a database to organize all the information in all the books; proofing the second history book) but which is due ASAP. Bummer.

In the meantime, some things that have amused me recently:

"The Friendly Period" — Wisenheimer

Lindsey Lohan's Cell Mates

2010-07-09T01:23:00.001-04:00

Since Christine wasn't going to make it, Cathy and I joined forces with Mike D's parents and their friends on Wednesday night to create what we hoped would be a superteam capable of changing the Pub Quiz status quo (namely, toppling the hated Team 11). Sadly, we came in ninth and they came in first, so that hopey-changey thing didn't really work out for us.

The Lohan team name was Mike D's mom's idea, and we ran with it, since I was too consumed by the day job to think up any alternatives in advance. (I did remove my nose from the grindstone long enough to look up the answer to this month's secret question, however.) There were some amusing monikers in the crowd, including something along the lines of We Didn't Know It Was Legal for Mike D to Get Married in the State of Ohio. I can't be sure of the exact phrasing since I stayed late at work and then went right to the bar without stopping at home to pick up an appropriate notebook.

The A, B, or C? category that is the bane of true trivia fans everywhere — since, it was pointed out to me, it rewards guessing over knowledge — reared its misbegotten head in the first round: Facebook Group, Afterschool Special, or Miley Cyrus Song? You'd be surprised how many Afterschool Specials sound like Facebook Groups, and vice versa. (Although, I agree with Cathy: I kind of do want to watch Bonnie Raitt Has Something to Talk About. Sadly, I cannot locate any snippets online, so you'll have to make do with this review from the New York Times and imagine what could have been.)

We managed to get a perfect score on the video round (the first time that's ever happened to a team I've been on) and the picture round (state flags) but totally bit it on the science/nature and useless facts rounds. I did ok on the music and literature questions, and at some point Mike D's mom said that she likes being on my team because I know my ass from a hole in the ground. This announcement was followed by a hilarious skit in which she and Mike D's dad pretended to be confused about what constituted a hole in the ground and what could be considered one's ass. Maybe you had to be there, but it was a hoot.

What else happened? The leper colony was there for the first time in a few months; their presence usually ups the number of funny answers and improves the overall level of emcee/crowd interaction. It was super-hot and stuffy in the bar, so much so that the most coveted Pub Quiz Raffle Prize was not the limited edition I [shamrock] [Guinness glass] t-shirt but the limited edition battery-powered personal fan bearing a message promoting some movie I've never heard of. The video round closed with the hi-larious SNL Digital Short "Great Day," featuring Andy Samberg, whom I heart. Enjoy.

Telephone Conversation

2010-06-30T09:55:00.000-04:00

I'm on the e-mail list for the Indiana University Press, which is apparently having a summer sale. I thought I'd browse around and see what was on clearance, and thus came across this gem:

Telephone Conversation - Google Books

I mean: First of all, awesome cover. Then I read the table of contents and introduction via the Google Books preview and could not stop laughing at chapter titles like "How Do I Know When It's My Turn?" and statements in the introduction like "I hope you enjoy reading my long-distance call to you" and "Every sentence in this book has been simmered in the soup of class discussion."

I decided I had to have my own copy, but since the shipping costs would effectively double the purchase price, once I discovered that I could get it via interlibrary loan — Would you believe that ten college libraries in Ohio own this book?! — I abandoned my shopping cart in the middle of the store and came over here to continue mocking. Further mockage as events warrant.

I'm Not Dead Yet

2010-06-27T18:44:00.002-04:00

(If any of you hung out in Sargent and immediately replied with some variation of "It's just a flesh wound!," enjoy. All the non-nerds, meet me below the video.)

Yeah, so: Haven't been blogging because I've been actually working during office hours, plus putting in beaucoup overtime on nights/weekends. I have about 24 books to get through my department and to the printer within the next four to six weeks; some of them have a greater shot of making it than others, but I'll be giving it maximum effort for the foreseeable future.

In fact, I'm at the office now, slogging through another U.S. history unit. The material is somehow quite timely: There's a lesson examining Truman's decision to fire MacArthur, which brings to mind this whole McChrystal thing; then there's a lesson about the Vietnam War that sounds as though you could do a find-and-replace with "Vietnam" and "Afghanistan" and have something approximating an article in . . . I was going to say "today's newspaper," but we all know that nobody reads those anymore, so I guess I'll use "today's online news aggregator" instead.

At any rate, I'd better suck it up and get back to it since I have to get this project to an editor first thing tomorrow. Plus, I should take advantage of the peace and quiet to really focus and plow through my to-do list. (Hey! It could happen! Quit laughing!)